September 11th is my sweet little girl's birthday. This is the first time I have not been able to celebrate with her since her passing december 13, 2009. To truely understand my emotions behind my loss I will take you back to september 2006. Our family endured quite bit from a man who demanded respect and to follow whatever he decided. Our children didnt have a happy home where screaming, throwing objects, damaging walls, doors, whatever was available in his rage. Many times the children were hit, kicked, slapped, squeezed, thrown. I was terrified all the time for my kids as well as my self but eventually I was able to find the strength to file a complaint with children services and seek an order of protection and get him away from hurting them. I took his power away and it didnt sit well with him. He was allowed supervised visits and started therapy. 6 months later the supervised visits were lifted and he saw his children on weekends and 2 evenings a week.We officially divorced december 26, 2008. Rick had difficulty dealing with not being in control and took me back to court several times trying and succeeding in getting child support lowered. I had started going back to school trying to rebuild my life but his building business was getting less and less jobs, his $400,000 house in a golf community was not selling. My baby girl who has/had
Angelman Syndrome was very fragile, she had been fed through a tube since she was 8 weeks old, seizures that were controlled by 2 medications, could not say words but her smile;laughter;bright eyes spoke for her at least to me, she could walk small distances alone , mentally impaired, trembled ever so slightly all the time. I fought for her medically and educationally. years of therapy helped her gain so much..So proud of my little angel girl. In the spring of 2009 rick brought kelsey home after a weekend visit and showed me her back. Baby girl had red marks on her back/rib rage from shoulder to waist. To me it looked like rug burns and social services agreed and they verbally informed rick to cease visitation. They never called me nor did they give me any paper work to make this legal. No charges were filed. I left messages for the social worker and when no response I asked to speak to her supervisor I only received voice mail where i left messages, again no response. Rick had the benefit of a very good attorney and i could not keep him from her. Time marches on and on December 12th I drove the kids to an over night at their dads. Around 10 pm he drove justin and ryan to spend the night at their paternal grand parents home. Around midnight he pulled a mattress in his garage next to his truck and turned the engine on, he put kelsey face down and smothered her ending her life and he died of carbon monoxide. I love kelsey more than anything and almost 9 months later I struggle daily and probably always will. I miss her so much and I cannot believe how anyone especially a father could do this. I also feel he did this to hurt me. a final fuck you. Kelsey came to me in a dream on easter morning and she was whole. she could talk, walk, everything any child could do. She was whole...but still i ache for her to be in my arms. I wish things were different and I could open presents with kelsey on her special day. Someday i will be with kelsey again in heaven.
